juldec05

12/29/05

Wishing everyone an early Happy New Year! I hope 2006 is year of success and hope for all of us. The year when dreams come true. A quick look back at my year in writing: 43 submissions that received responses this year. Still have about 20 things awaiting responses as we speak, but I doubt I hear anything until next year now. 40 Rejections and 3 Acceptances. Despite the shitty year I've had personally, this is the best sales year I've had in four years. Pathetic on the grand scale of writers and all, but for me, it was pretty darned good. Considering that I hadn't sold a story in three years. I hope this meager trickle will lead to better things next year. That's my wish at any rate.

In the production department, I wrote a lot this year. Short story production was really bad this year with only six completed stories. Sold one of the six, though, so that's not too bad. I have hopes for the other four too. Novel production was stellar. I wrote a whopping FOUR novels this year. I'm very proud of this achievement, especially since I thought I'd blown this goal in February when I couldn't finish a book that quarter. Total word count for the year is: 323,225 words. Overall, I'm pleased with that number, but I think I can do better than that.

In the publication department, a major milestone this year. The Sound of Angels was my first ever book publication and I'm still very proud of this book. I never thought I'd see my own name on a book, but it happened in 2005. One of the very few bright spots of a very rough year.

Goals for next year:

Write at least 12 short stories
Write at least 5 novels
Sell at least 3 short stories to professional markets
Make my first novel sale (yeah, I'm forever hopeful on this one)
Improve my proposal writing skills
Improve my query writing skills
Learn how to write a big book
Submit all of my salable novels
Work harder to find an agent

Any year that begins with chicken pox and ends with surgery is a year I'm not sorry to see go. My surgery is very early tomorrow morning, so I don't think I'll be back at the keyboard for a couple of days. But stranger things have happened. I still plan to be at my keyboard on January 1st to start writing Ebony Moon though. That's why they make painkillers, right?

Have a good evening and a Happy New Year!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/27/05

Heartfelt sympathies to Vera on the loss of her beloved Lhasa, Tarasik. Losing a pet is gut-wrenching. And it never really heals. We just learn how to go on without them. I hope for the time when memories of Tarasik bring you smiles instead of tears, when photographs bring peace instead of pain. Until then, know your friends care about you and will be there if you need us.

I spent the evening rewriting my friggin' query for Landfall yet one more time. Sent it out again. We'll see what happens.

Also, read through my notes for my next novel. I plan to start it on 1/1/06, but I hope I don't have to revise that date. My surgery date is scheduled for 12/30, so I hope it will be possible for me to write a little on 1/1. Have no idea how I'll feel, but hoping to suck it up and start the book. When I wrote my notes for the book, I'd intended to write it in November, but ended up writing Landfall instead. And I couldn't come up with a title -- just came up empty each time. But tonight, after reading over my notes, I saw a working title immediately within the text. Don't know if it will stay (if it'll fit), but for now, it's called Ebony Moon. I renamed the directory, so it's official.

A Save Your Postage FYI: got my partial back unread from Bantam Spectra today, saying they no longer read unagented manuscripts. Sigh. That only leaves Baen, DAW, Tor, and Roc as major publishers who don't read unsolicited manuscripts (and I'm not even certain about Roc since it's under the same editorial direction as Ace.)

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/27/05

I spent the evening rewriting my friggin' query for Landfall yet one more time. Sent it out again. We'll see what happens.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Wave by various

12/24/05

Wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays. Safe travels, good company, and warm firelight tonight. My whole family is here tonight and we're going to drink wine, eat pizza (a family tradition), poke fun at each other, and open presents. Should be a fun evening. Maybe I'll even get a chance to watch It's A Wonderful Life?

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/22/05

FINAL WORD COUNT = 41,750 words!!!
GOAL = 40,000 words

1500 words -- Stick a fork in it...this book is done! WOOHOO!!! Man, that feels good to say.

I'm pleased with it overall. Will have to go back through it in a few days and see how it reads. At 42K, I'm probably going to flesh out some things, bring it up to 45K (probably more marketable at this length).

I'm really glad I decided to write another book in December. My goal for the year had been to write 4 novels and when the Chicken Pox hit me last January (and bronchitis a month or so later), I couldn't pull off a book that quarter. But I feel good knowing I pulled off the goal, even it was at the eleventh hour.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/21/05

3250 words -- Kicked out my only 3K+ night of this dare to hit that 40K mark. Woohoo!!

Not done with the story yet. I have the denouement to write which I really want to start on fresh tomorrow. I got it started, but this is a very important part of the story. Gotta do it right. I don't think it'll be much longer than another 1K. But I'll have it finished tomorrow, no problem. This whole book started out as a nagging feeling I got after reading some uncomfortable news stories. I'm almost afraid to read it after I finish. It's just damned weird. Sure hope it holds together. Nevertheless, it's almost done...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/20/05

2500 words -- Cool, another 2500-word run. I have bowling league tomorrow night, so I don't know how much I'll manage tomorrow. But I'm probably about 3-4K from the end. I thought it would go longer than that, but things moved faster in the plot than I'd expected. Heather and Ryan are on their last ditch run to reach the spiral before Death overtakes them.

I could actually lay this book to rest by Thursday. Fingers crossed. That'll even give me a week to gear up for the next book starting January 1. Gotta get back into the mindset for that book, re-read the research I collected and the plot stuff I wrote out.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

12/19/05

2500 words — I'm surprised at tonight's word count. After unplanned 10-hour day at work, I didn't get home and finish eating until after 8 PM. Fortunately, I'd left off writing last night at kind of a cliffhanger, so tonight I was right in the middle of the action. I'm well into Act III and have one or two more scenes to write before the story's final action sequence begins. And the denouement for this story is one of the coolest points of the story. At least it is in my head.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/18/05

1700 words -- I'm about 8K from my goal. Hopefully, I'll finish the book this week. My plan is by Friday, but we'll see.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/17/05

2300 words -- Hit the 30K mark tonight. I think this book will go a little over 40K. Probably no more than 45K. I'm going to work on a query tonight for another book. Most of my novels aren't out at the moment. Only two, I think. Of fourteen (including the current novel in progress).

Finished my Christmas shopping tonight. Just need to wrap everything and I'm done. Even got my cards mailed tonight, too.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/16/05

2000 words -- I should pass the 30K mark tomorrow. I always feel more comfortable with a story when I pass the 100-page mark.

In other fun news, a 212-day rejection from RoF. So hard for me to take when I see other people selling here all the time. My 29th rejection from that magazine. Sigh. Also, another agent rejection. Not such a good day. I so wish I could break through these barriers that have been in my way for 13 years. Just doesn't look like that's ever going to happen. I can't help but feel like a loser when I see so many other people doing it and no matter what I do, I can't make it happen. Just feels hopeless. Not sure why I even come to this keyboard every night and write.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/15/05

2250 words -- Managed a 2K surplus again tonight. I've really got to make this weekend count because I've got company coming on Wednesday, so it'll be hard to get much wordage accomplished with so many people in the house (and dogs). I was hoping to put this book to bed by Friday at the latest. We'll see. I've probably got about 3 or 4K left of my second act.

I plan to end that act with Ryan carried away by shadow angels when he tries to rescue his girlfriend from the eternal sleep in the poppy fields. Thinking she's lost Ryan forever, Heather decides to go into the poppy fields after him, despite Death at last finding her. Only through the help of others does Heather elude Death and rescue Ryan from the field of poppies. He knows he's lost his girlfriend forever now, but Heather gets through his grief when she reveals to him that she has found the spiral. It's their only hope of escaping the Between. With four other lost souls, Heather and Ryan set out for the spiral as they run from Death. They hope they reach the spiral ahead of her and her scythe. This is the weirdest book I've ever written. Hope it turns out.

Received a 53-day rejection from the new Orson Scott Card online magazine. No big surprise there. Still waiting for soon-to-come decisions on three short stories and a novel. I'm really glad I'm swamped with a hundred thousand things so I don't have time to fret over these decisions.

Have a good evening . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/14/05

2250 words -- A long, yucky work day and bowling league...man, am I tired. Managed a decent word count though. I consider this length a very big challenge for me. I've never written anything at this length before, so I hope this one turns out. If it doesn't, I'll chalk it up to my 1 million words. Had to start the counter over on those.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002

12/13/05

1350 words -- Ran out of time tonight and have an early work meeting tomorrow.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

12/12/05

2650 words -- Hit 20K tonight. Halfway there.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Falling Farther In by October Project

12/11/05

1500 words -- Slightly better word count, but the brain simply rebelled today. And I have an early more business trip tomorrow, so that kind of shot my motivation for the whole day. I'll be out of town all day tomorrow and will be a zombie tomorrow night, I'm sure. Not expecting much output tomorrow either, but I plan to at least give it a shot. My day job is so kicking my butt these days. And I can't post any of it here. Even if I could, it's so surreal that it's beyond words.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Shepherd Moons by Enya

12/10/05

1000 words -- Too many errands, too many "chores" and not enough time. I'll take my 1K and run with it. Hell, I was all prepared to record a big fat zero for tonight's word count, but I guilted myself into at least doing 4 pages. Sheesh, if I couldn't at least do 4 pages, I was just being lazy. I could probably do a couple more, but yeah, I'm feeling lazy tonight. So I won't. :)

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Fallen by Evanescence

12/9/05

2375 words -- Wow, weird that I made exactly the same word count as last night. But hey, I'll take it. Even hit 15K. Almost halfway there. Got a little later start tonight because I had to decorate the Christmas tree that I've had up since last Saturday. It was almost picture perfect. Poured myself an oaky glass of merlot, cranked up the Christmas carols and hung glass balls in pale gold, blue, pink, purple. Strung clear stars, leaves, and silver spirals beside silver snowflakes and gold stars between the pale blue and lavender ribbon and fabric draped across the tree. Outside the picture window was that thick blanket of snow that fell last night (7 inches), giving the tree with its colored lights and scent of pine a dreamy glow. The only thing missing was a hot guy in a snuggly sweater and some mistletoe. *wistful sigh* A girl can dream, can't she?

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/8/05

2375 words -- Very good night at the keyboard. Got a lot more wordage than I'd expected. Still not quite sure where this book is leading (before I get to my ending, that is). I know the end, but I'm still not exactly sure how I get to there from here. I'm sure I'll figure that out when I need to.

We're having a hellatious snowstorm right now. Supposed to get 7 inches or something. And it's been so cold. I'm still reeling from the shock of the cold this year. Had my ultrasound today. I know I have at least two fibroid tumors, but that's all I could gather from watching the screen. Not sure how large they are yet. Won't know until next week, I suspect.

I'm so glad tomorrow's Friday...gotta finish my Christmas shopping this weekend. It's really beautiful and silent outside, the snow covering everything in that white softness, wash of colored lights peeking out beneath it, the air swirling with flakes. Like a snowglobe.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Enchanted Christmas by Anna Maria Mendieta

12/7/05

1500 words -- Had bowling league tonight, so I only got an hour at the keyboard tonight, but I think I made some decent story progress. Heather and Ryan are about to seek out the Spiral and one last chance at getting this life thing right. Things just sort of unfolded nicely tonight. I was a little worried about what I'd written last night because of the stupid migraine, afraid I'd led my characters a little astray. But after looking over where I'd ended, I found that I was still on track. Tomorrow, I should get things moving at a better clip in terms of story pacing. And I broke the 10K mark, so I'm happy about that. That means I'm a quarter of the way to my goal.

And a very strange day for writing news. For the first time in my writing career, I got two emails today for two different stories, telling me that my stories were being held for final consideration. I was really, really surprised. No sales or anything and nothing may come of either short list, but hey, at least I got the editors' attention, right? Nothing else to report. Still crossing all appendages on the DAW antho (story I subbed this weekend) and another manuscript under consideration...

My mom got her MRI results today from that terrible fall she took the day before Thanksgiving. She did break a bone in her knee, tore a muscle, and tore cartilege. She's having knee surgery on 12/19. So, I had to move up my ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Then I see the surgeon next Wednesday.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002 (who has a new CD coming out in January 2006!)

12/6/05

1625 words -- Tough night at the keyboard, but I'm glad I got something written tonight. Early afternoon brought on a killer migraine that's just been kicking my butt. After supper, I took an Aleve and used an ice pack, enough that I could stare at the screen for a little bit. Was hoping for 1K, so I'm pleased with my word count. My migraines are traditional ones. They're more like cluster headaches. I get them on the right side of my head and they're usually induced from muscular strain (fibromyalgia-related). About the only thing that helps is sleep. Which is where I'm headed now.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Painted Pictures by Grey Eye Glances

12/5/05

2125 words -- Finished Chapter Two tonight after a little bit of a late start. Got my two main characters moving toward their goal. Had a doctor's appointment today and spent a little time waiting, so I did a little story brainstorming while I waited and bingo -- the story's ending hit me with a really powerful image. I was stoked at that point and couldn't wait to write down the ending. But I didn't need to. It's right there in the middle of my brain, waiting for me to get there.

Got some not-what-I-was-hoping-for news today though. Looks like there's another surgery in my future -- before the year's out. My doctor felt a large lump in my abdomen, so I'm off for an ultrasound next Friday. It's a fibroid tumor, no question. Had an ultrasound a few years ago that found it, a small one, but apparently it's grown (grapefruit sized). Sucks. These things are just the biggest nuisance. Had two removed in 1990 (one the size of a grapefruit) and have no desire to repeat that experience. I was hoping it was stay small, but they tend to grow. But I'm still going to finish this damned book and I'm still going to start another one in January.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

12/4/05

2000 words -- Finally managed a whole 2K on this one. Man, this idea was a lot tougher to handle than I'd realized. It's a heavy story, kind of emotionally tough to wade through, but I'm moving forward. I knew this one would be a challenge when I started it. It's not so much an edge story now (what I'd originally wanted to write), from a stylistic sense. Which is what I'd been shooting for. Oh, well, ideas change. I'll keep plugging away and see where it goes. It's definitely one of the stranger things I've written in a while. I'm definitely going to be ready for something lighter when I finish this one. My next book after this one is going to a fantasy romance. I've done research for this one already and had actually planned to write it last month. Ironically though, I was afraid it was going to be a 100K book, so I delayed it. I didn't think I could tackle 100K this month. Landfall was 99K. Go figure. So, I guess I know I can handle that word length still. Actually, I'm glad it worked out this way. I didn't have the confidence at length before, but now, I think I can do it.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

12/3/05

1750 words -- Man, what a day...my day started off at 1:30 AM (as I was ending the previous one) with an email about a submission opportunity (to a closed anthology). No sure thing here, but I'd have a shot at the antho if I could turn around a story ASAP. So, I forced my brain to chew on the theme a little and I poked out a few words until I couldn't stay awake any longer. I decided I'd grab a few hours and hit the story first thing. So I dragged my tired butt out of bed before 9 AM to pound out the story. By 2 PM and two drafts, I had 3500 words. I did a final pass and shipped off the story.

And now I wait....and hope the editor buys the story....no promises, but I gave it my best shot. Needless to say, I got a very late start on my errands. But I feel pretty proud of myself for turning around a story from idea to finish in twelve hours (including some sleep time in there). It's a good story. I hope the editor agrees.

Got our Christmas tree up tonight. And within five minutes of it going vertical, Trinity was all the way at the top of the tree. I laughed myself silly watching my one year old kitties freaking out over the tree. I remember this time last year when I brought home Denali, then Trinity a week or so later. What a blast they were last year. Having Christmas kittens was awesome. And I'm enjoying them just as much this year.

Just finished putting down not quite 2K on the new novel. This is definitely a weird story. I was so unsure about what I'd written yesterday, but tonight when I reread it, I felt better. Hope that trend continues. I started Chapter 2 already, Chapter 1 being a short chapter.

Guess that's it for me tonight. I put down a decent word count for the day, a little over 5K. I'll take it.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

12/2/05

1250 words -- Started off The Between tonight with a very modest word count. Still a little unsure (okay, a lot unsure) about where it's all going. The first chapter was pretty tough to write, so I'm going to let it settle for tonight and see where it all leads tomorrow. I didn't know it would start in Seattle, but there it was, laid out for me to enter the scene...and now I'm pining for a ferry ride and a glimpse of orcas. Sigh. Anyway, the book doesn't stay in Seattle -- just a glimpse before it moves Between. My main character has just killed herself. Hmmm, not what I'd envisioned when I set out on this one. I hadn't exactly expected that. Guess I'll work with it and see where it leads. It's not the end of the story by any means, but the beginning, but I guess I hadn't expected it in the first six pages. Shows what I know.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Woman by various

11/30/05

FINAL WORD COUNT = 98,750 words!!
GOAL = 60,000 words

1250 words -- Okay, I couldn't leave it alone tonight. At work today, I thought of a tiny end I didn't tie up between two of the characters, so I went in tonight and tied it up. Yielding another 1250 words, bringing this book 1 page shy of 99K. This is a record finish for me. The most words I've ever written in one month.

And I'm already starting to go into withdrawal... Not sure I'm going to last 'til January without another book to work on. Man, what's the matter with me? This is supposed to be work, but I just had a blast writing this book. And the other two I wrote this year. All three were sheer pleasure to write. I know I sound like a real dolt saying that, but I just love writing novels.

And see, ... I'm starting to get this idea for a short, edgy novel ... Probably around 40K or so. Maybe I'll just write that in December and gear up for the next full length book in January. I already have a title for it, too. It's called Suicide Club.

So, if any of you guys are planning a December Dare and need some company...I think I'm gonna do this again.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amarantine by Enya

11/29/05

7625 words -- Oh wow...it's done. I finished it. Nearly 98K, too. I'm speechless. My brain is numb... Landfall is done. I'm going to feel totally lost tomorrow night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/28/05

4375 words -- Nate is now in his darkest moment, facing a marriage to a woman he can't stand, a woman who's been cheating on him for months. He believes he's lost Kadence forever. Kadence finds out that Nate has left Lake Charles, returning to Arlington for good, without saying goodbye. And a talk with the friend who drove him to the airport reveals Nate's feelings for her. She knows that Nate loves her and when she discovers he's being forced to go through with a wedding he was going to cancel...she hops a plane for Arlington to stop the wedding.

I'm pretty sure that I'm three chapters from the end. Did I mention this book's gonna be 95K? *groan* Two days left...

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Day Without Rain by Enya

11/27/05

11,500 words -- Yep, the real word count. Hard to believe...this is a record word count for me. I had to check it twice to make sure. It's a good thing, too, because I'm still about 6K from the end of the book. Kadence and Nate, believing they have no chance at reconciliation, are riding out a hurricane that's destroying Kadence's house piece by piece as the hours pass and the flood waters rise. Probably four chapters from the end. The end is in sight, but man, I had no idea this book would be 90K+ when I started it...it's still going to be a close finish by Wednesday.

And...I finally have a working title for this bad boy: Landfall. Not great, but it's a title.

Stayed up 'til four AM this morning to get that other manuscript edited. Got it out the door this afternoon, so that's out of the way. But I'm almost there with this book.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Spirit by Jewel

11/26/05

9000 words -- Really cranked out the words today. Mainly because things are really moving at full tilt in the story. I'm at 74K now and things are moving swiftly toward the darkest moments for my characters. Kadence has just found out that Nate's engaged to be married (even though he's made up his mind to break off the engagement and suffer the consequences on his return to Arlington). Kadence thinks she was just his last fling before marriage. The next evening, Nate finds out that his fiance has been cheating on him. And despite his anger, he's relieved, knowing that even his father would accept him calling off the engagement. But Hurricane Rita is rushing toward Kadence's town at alarming speed and power. Kadence plans to ride out the storm, hoping the approaching hurricane would convince him to leave Louisiana early. But he refuses to leave. Almost to this point in the story. Probably about six chapters from the end.

A quick break and then off to continue the other manuscript edits. Still a long way to go. : (

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Dream Spiral by Hilary Stagg

11/25/05

5000 words -- Had to go out and run a bazillion errands today. And the cold my brother's family has been passing around has finally found its way to me. Groan. I hate colds. Anyway, I spent the rest of day banging out words on this book, coming up with another 5K today. I'm about 7 or 8 chapters from the end. With only days left of the Dare, it's definitely gonna be a close finish. Tomorrow and Sunday, I don't have to go anywhere, so I should be able to do some serious damage to those last remaining chapters.

Y'know, before I started Dean Smith's 8-month Dare cycle, the thought of writing 6 books in a year seemed totally impossible to me. Yet, here I am, working on book 2 of 4 for this dare and I'm loving every minute of the production. Already looking forward to starting the next book in January. But I really can finish a book draft every other month. That thought blows me away. The only thing I've hated about this month has been the awful cascade of real life events I've had to deal with. And honestly, I don't know what I'd have done without having a book to write. It's kept my going when I really just wanted to lay down and quit. I haven't yet written 6 books in a year, but I think it's certainly possible. I'd set out to write 4 this year, but will only manage 3 by year's end. Next year, I'm going to try harder and see where it leads me.

Off to take a quick break and then do some final edits on a manuscript I'm way behind on...

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: City of Angels soundtrack

11/24/05

8650 words -- Best wordage of the Dare. And I hit 60K!! Still a long way to go in the story. Now, I'm feeling a lot better about bringing this story to a close by next Wednesday night. Had to cook the entire Thanksgiving dinner myself this year. Just for my parents though, so it wasn't too stressful. I'm rather self-conscious about cooking for other people, but everything came together in an edible fashion. So I consider the meal a success. My mom's still in terrible pain, but nothing will be done for her until she goes back to the orthopedic doctor. Why he didn't schedule an MRI is a mystery to me? VERY annoying.

Spent the rest of the day writing. I hit a plot point that just exploded into maximum wordage. After I hit 5K today, I plotted out the book's final act. This book may be a mainstream book. I wasn't sure what it was going to be when I started it. Thought it was a romance, but that's not quite right somehow. There's a strong romantic component to the book, but it's about other things. I'll figure out what it is after I finish it. I think I've got at least another 15K to write, maybe 20K. I need at least another 5K day to be able to cross the finish line on time. With the next 3 days off, I'm hoping to pull that off.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Celtic Woman by various

11/23/05

2100 words -- Not sure how many more days like today I can stand. Nobody got any sleep last night at my house. My mom was in terrible, terrible pain. I went into work around 7 AM this morning to take care of time cards and other pressing matters until 11 AM when I had to take my mom to the orthopedic doctor. Went to the wrong place, arrived super late only to miss the doctor. So we had to sit and wait for him for an hour. With my mom in excruciating pain, unable to sit, stand, walk, etc.. It was 1:30 before we actually saw the doctor. He drained fluid off the knee and took more x-rays. Nothing is broken, but he wants to wait and see how things heal for a week. Then she has to go back. All that for absolutely no pain relief...ARGH!!!!!!

It was almost 3 PM when we got home. Then I had to go take care of my neighbor's cat while they're away. Then there's that little Thanksgiving dinner...with not a shred of food in the house. So a trip to the grocery after I drop off the rental car because my car is finally ready (after 10 days of work). I finally got to sit down on my couch at 8:30 tonight.

Needless to say, I feel like a ragged ball of nerves and hangnails...surprised as hell I managed 2K tonight. And I cracked 50K. I did manage to snag Enya's new CD between picking up my car and the grocery store. Found out that Kate Bush has a new CD out, too -- after 12 years (thanks, Steve!). But...Target didn't have it. :( I'll have to go in search of it soon. New Kate Bush -- man, I can't even imagine.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving . . .

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Amaratine by Enya (my favorite so far is "If I could be where you are")

11/22/05

3125 words -- God, what a day...it started off okay, but about 4 o'clock, my mom calls me sobbing because she'd taken a bad fall on concrete and couldn't put weight on her right knee. So I blasted out of work and rushed to take her to the emergency room. So I spent the evening in ER, waiting for the results of x-rays. Thankfully, there were no broken bones, but her knee is swollen about 2 and half times its normal size. The doctor said there was a lot of blood in the joint and she still can't put weight on it. She has to see an orthopedic doctor tomorrow to see if there are any torn ligaments or if she's torn cartilege. Having been through that, I have a bad feeling she's torn cartilege. I hope we'll know more tomorrow. Scary evening...

I'm glad that I grabbed some time this afternoon to write at lunch, before all hell broke loose. Managed to carve out an hour and a half after getting back from the ER, too, for writing. Luckily for me, I've been in a fast-paced part of this book, so putting down words hasn't been a problem. I'll definitely be passed 50K tomorrow night and in good position to hit 60K by Sunday.

I'm supposed to get my car back from the repair shop tomorrow (fingers crossed). And I'm dying to get the new Enya CD that came out today (after four years of waiting). I'd plan to go out and get it tonight after work, but...well, life happens again. Sure wish there were some good things to balance out all this bad crap.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See A Dream by Libby Roderick

11/21/05

5000 words -- Killer wordage, huh? I was really surprised when I checked the day's totals. I did the lunch writer thing today, wanting to regain some lost ground from last week. I'm scaring the heck out of 50K now and Nate and Kadence have really started to bond. I need to do a better job of handling time, to make sure I handle that right. Nate will only be with Kadence for a month, so I've got to make sure I reflect that. Then of course, he's got a major decision to make: disappoint his dad and break off his engagement with a woman who doesn't love him/is seeing someone else (which he doesn't yet know) or be with the woman he's falling in love with (who isn't quite ready for a new relationship). Of course, there's this hurricane that stirs everything up, too. Things are getting interesting...

If I can finish out the week at 60K or better, I might just finish this book on time.

Have a good night.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: The Collection by Mary Black

11/20/05

2625 words -- Still didn't get a 3K day, but I got close. Moved past the 40K-mark, too! Got Nate into a mildly disturbing situation following an argument with Kadence. I think this book's going to be about 75K or so. Not quite at the halfway point yet, storywise. A few more things need to happen before I get to that point.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Day Without Rain by Enya

11/19/05

1375 words -- Best I could do with company in the house. Hopefully, I can achieve 40K tomorrow. I'm pretty close right now. Next week is a 3-day work week and we won't have a house full of company, so hopefully, I can get some major work done on this book.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/18/05

2425 words -- Holy shit, I got my words done early tonight! My brother and his family are visiting this weekend and my brother is only minutes away as I've been typing furiously to get my word count in for the night. It's not even 9:30 pm yet and I've gotten a fairly decent word count for the night. Wow...maybe I can actually relax for a while tonight.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Victorialand by Cocteau Twins

11/17/05

2200 words -- Can't believe I managed 2K+ tonight after all the errands I had to run tonight. But pleased that I pulled it off. It's late though...that stupid alarm clock will ring way too soon for me. Thank God it's Friday though with a 3-day work week soon to follow.

Have a good night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/16/05

2250 words -- Man, I got home so late tonight after bowling league. Had lane troubles, so I didn't even get home 'til 20 after 8. Then I sucked down a quick meal and didn't even sit down at the keyboard until 8:40 pm. Fortunately, I'd left last night's scene at an interesting place, so picking up the action tonight was easy. Amazed that I managed a 2K surplus. And the week just gets worse. I've gotta go pick up a neighbor's car after work and drive it home for them. Then I have to meet my sister-in-law and pick up my brother's dog. Then I've gotta get a present ready to mail on Saturday morning...and find to write more on this book...and hopefully pick up my car from the shop. ARGH!!!!!!!!

Anyway, glad I managed 2K tonight. No bets on getting that much tomorrow -- maybe I can get some words written over lunch tomorrow?

G'night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/15/05

1500 words -- The repair estimate on my car is $2000. SIGH. They may have it fixed by the end of the week. I just paid the Cougar off last year and it didn't even have a scratch on it. Wrote some more words on the book tonight. Hit 30K. Halfway there.

G'night...

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See a Dream by Libby Roderick

11/14/05

2690 words -- God, what a horrible day! My day started with a car accident (wasn't my fault). There's at least $1200 worth of damage to my car. The bumper is hosed, broken in two, the driver side quarter panel is bent in and shifted away from the trunk, the whole light panel dropped forward. I have to take my car in tomorrow morning for the insurance adjuster to estimate the damage. Sigh. And it was raining like hell when I got off work. I was afraid the bumper would fall off the entire way, but it stayed on. Then when I got home I found my bombshell novel crammed into my mailbox (even though I sent a #10 SASE for just the reply) with a fucking form rejection. I cried all through dinner and then I sat and stared at the computer screen and played solitaire. Not sure why, but I decided I'd go ahead and write some more worthless words on yet another unsalable novel. I'll probably feel better in a few days, but man what a gut punch. A fucking form. Anyway, there's the word count.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/13/05

1285 words -- Too many people at the house, too late a night last night, and insert your favorite excuse here. No 2K tonight, but such is life. Still plugging away...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/12/05

2275 words -- No 3k tonight either. Too much going on. Had to make a birthday present this afternoon after the funeral. Then went to the party. Had a good time hanging out with some of my favorite folks. Yeah, I drank a lot, too, but the moment I walked in the door, I sat down at the computer and was able to pick up right where I left off before the party. I didn't think I'd get my 2K tonight, but everything just really flowed again. Still hopeful to tap a 3K day this weekend. Will try again tomorrow.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/11/05

2250 words -- Fell short of the 3K goal, so I'll just put that down for tomorrow's goal. I was much more alert tonight than I was last night. I need to think a little more about the book's Act II, to get a better feel for how things will unfold between now and Act III. Need to understand the conflicts that will arise between Kadence and Nate between now and the crisis points that will soon start rearing up.

So, I need to think about that a bit before I start writing tomorrow.

I just found out that SCIFICTION will stop publishing at the end of 2005. There is an announcement on the site, including a farewell note from Ellen Datlow. Definitely a shame. Ellen is such an incredible editor who brought us some great stories. I'm sure Ellen will be back editing something in the near future. She's too good an editor to lose.

Tomorrow will be a weird day. I'm supposed to go to a party tomorrow night that I've been looking forward to, but when I came home tonight, I found out that the husband of my mom's friend passed away. So, I have to go to a funeral tomorrow morning and a party tomorrow night. Something feels strange about that. Life is strange.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Dream Spiral by Hilary Stagg

11/10/05

750 words -- Yeah, pretty dismal word count there, but it was the best I could do tonight after putting in a ten-hour day at work. My plan is to write 3K tomorrow night to make up for my poor output tonight.

I'm beat...going to bed.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Eventide by Grey Eye Glances

11/9/05

2000 words -- I'm nearly one third of the way there. And approaching the 100-page mark. I always feel good when I pass the 100 page mark. I need to think about the obstacles that Nate and Kadence will face in the middle of the book as I gear up for the third act. Toward the end of the second act, after she and Nate have already bonded a bit, Kadence will discover that Nate is engaged. In the third act, Nate and Kadence will face a challenge neither has faced before as Hurricane Rita approaches. I just have to keep the second act on track and moving at a steady clip. I think I can make that happen, but I always doubt myself until I actually get there. Enjoying the ride so far. Especially with the work stress being so high and my dad's health problems mounting. I love having a book to immerse myself in when I come home.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/8/05

2250 words -- I didn't think I'd reach 2K tonight, but I managed an extra page over that goal. And I *FINALLY* got Nate and Kadence together. Took me five chapters, but they've just met and the heat will definitely rise between these two. They've got a lot of obstacles to overcome, but Kadence has him in her house for a month. Then he has to return home to Arlington and his fiance. Should be great fun. :)

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: The Collection by Mary Black

11/7/05

2250 words -- Tonight, Kadence revealed the source of the deep sadness in her life and the upcoming first anniversary of her fiance's death. She's been immersing herself in other people's problems, trying to help them move on, especially in the wake of a devastating hurricane.

And Nate gets the bad news that he's got to leave the comfort of his Arlington apartment for the Louisiana countryside. Soon, he'll meet Kadence for the first time. Sparks will fly.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: If You See A Dream by Libby Roderick

11/6/05

Today was a struggle to write. Not because of the story or anything. Just felt exhausted all day. I managed a decent word count though: 2375 words, so I'm pleased that I got at least 2K.

I got a lot of work done with Kadence's POV today though. It was a lot of fun to discover what made her tick. I really like this character. And a new supporting character that I hadn't expected. Enjoyed spending time in these two chapters. Hoping to finish Chapter Four tomorrow night.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Land of Forever by 2002

11/5/05

A low word count tonight, as predicted. Only managed about 1375 words tonight. Just had too much going on today. I didn't manage a 2K day, but still plenty of time to catch up. I did break the 10K barrier, so I'm pleased with that. Almost ready to start Chapter four, I think.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: October Project by October Project

11/4/05

A little later start than I'd expected, but I had to run an errand after dinner. So I didn't get to the keyboard until 9 pm tonight. But fortunately, it's the weekend, so I don't have to go to bed early. I even managed a decent word count: 2750 words. Should break 10K by tomorrow. If I manage to get the rest of my errands ran. And I told a friend I'd go bowling with him tomorrow, so that'll be a couple of hours less of writing. But I should be able to put some good time in on Sunday. The Dare's going well though, so I don't think I'll have problems finishing on time.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Shepherd Moons by Enya (who has a new CD coming out this month!!! Can't wait!)

11/3/05

Got a little bit of a late start tonight. Pure procrastination, I guess. It's just been one of those tiring weeks and my energy level has been really low. I managed a decent word count though. 2250 words. That brings the total to 6500 words so far. Finished Chapter one and started two. Kadence's chapter will start next. Hope this book doesn't suck.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: A Few Small Repairs by Shawn Colvin

11/2/05

Looong day at work that started with an early meeting (earlier than my normal start time) followed by two hours of league bowling...needless to say, by the time I sucked down a quick bite, I didn't get to the keyboard until a little after 8:30 pm. I did manage 1500 words tonight, so as long as I average 2K a night, I should be fine for finishing the book by 11/30.

I've almost got the first chapter finished. I hadn't expected it to be 5K, but it looks like it's going to be pretty close to that. Nate has already ended up in the hospital though, so things are moving along at a good pace. Once I put Chapter 1 to bed, I can introduce Kadence Harlowe, my heroine. I'm looking forward to exploring her point of view next. I think I've already thrown out the threads of Nate's issues now, so looking forward to seeing Kadence hit the page.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

11/1/05

Lots of rejections arrived over the past two weeks. Not even sure I want to bother sending the stories out again.

Started the new novel tonight. Another Dare. No working title just yet. I put down 2750 words tonight on the first Chapter. It'll probably be another 1K before I finish it. Hopefully I can at least get down another 2K tomorrow. Have to bowl. Was hoping I wouldn't have to, not feeling up to it, but duty calls.

More tomorrow.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: Chrysalis by 2002

10/19/05

My copy finally arrived today and I just opened the package. To actually see the book in final form and hold it in my hands . . . it was a religious experience. Wow...I'm amazingly speechless. I'm trying to come up with a comparison, but I'm failing. I guess it's like the first time I tasted ice cream or the first time my bicycle just glided forward and I could hold out my arms and pretend I was flying. What an intoxicating feeling! I have to admit though, when I saw the package lying there, I was terrified to open it. I kept putting it off until finally, I just sucked it up and opened it. What if it's not any good? What if people hate it? What if they laugh at me? It may very well be all of the above, but at least I know that I had the guts to put a little of myself out there. No matter what, I took the risk. So, no matter what happens, I can look back and remember this moment -- free and clear like that first ride on my bicycle or that first taste of chocolate ice cream.

And as the cycle continues, I'm gearing up to write my next book. I plan to start it on November 1st and be a part of the National Novel Writing Month. Really looking forward to immersing myself in a new story. I'm hoping get my butt in gear with a short story this week, too.

Have a good evening!

Now reading: between books
Now playing: nothing

10/8/05

Oh, wow...I've just been informed that my collection is out...gasp...now, I have total butterflies in my stomach. I hopped over to Barnes & Noble then Amazon and there it was. What a surreal experience to type my own name into Amazon and have it come up with a book title. I just ordered a copy of my own book. I'm humbled, scared, excited, and nervous at the same time (if that's even possible).

I'm proud of this book. It represents thirteen years of my life and the gamut of my work. The book includes three new stories from me. I hope there will be more stories where these came from, but this is a milestone in my career. My first story collection... I hope this book is just the beginning.

The book includes an introduction by Dean Wesley Smith, an incredible man, talented writer, and excellent teacher. If it wasn't for Dean and his wife, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, I would never have become a published writer. Had it not been for Kris and Dean, the writing "hiatus" I took in 2001 would have been permanent. By December 2001, I had effectively quit.

Waay back in 1992, I started writing short stories because of Kris and Dean's Dare to be Bad (as told to me by a friend). And one of my first rejections was a personal one from Kris when she was editing F&SF. I met Kris and Dean at my first ever writer's conference in 1992 when they were doing workshops at conferences. So having Dean do the introduction to my first collection just seemed right and I'm grateful he agreed to do it.

I can't think of any other writers who've had that much impact on my career. Except for three of my peers: Ron Collins, Patricia Duffy Novak, and Vera Nazarian. A word of thanks and appreciation to these three. There are no words... It's been a long, lonely, painful road so far, but I thank God I had company along the way.

So, here's to the next thirteen years...the journey never gets easier, I know that now. The long haul just doesn't even begin to cover it. Or those long dark nights when you've poured your heart onto the page only to have it torn to pieces and mailed back to you, postage due. It takes a lot to put those pieces back together and find the guts to mail it out again. And again and again until your eyes blur and your soul feels like a flattened sweatshirt in the bottom of your closet. But some insane drive makes you pull yourself up from the floor and shove the damned thing back into another envelope and send it out. One more time. Is it ego, stubbornness, insanity or rote movements -- hell if I know. But we do it. Even when it hurts, we do it, refusing to take no for an answer, refusing to let go of that last shred of hope, refusing to let go of the dream. And so I still clutch mine, hoping against odds, the system, the out-of-control slush piles and my own shortcomings as a writer to become a novelist.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: between books
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

10/6/05

Work continues to escalate into a surreal nightmare of Biblical proportions...still looking for new jobs and praying someone will call me for an interview. I've gone home in either shock or tears every day this week. Just not sure how much more I can stand.

Thank God for the writing...I've been looking toward my next novel project. No working title yet, but I wrote out the basic premise and I'm pleased with what I came up with. Looking forward to writing the book. I may just dive in this weekend ahead of my 11/1 start date. I'm trying to be clever and write some short fiction, but I'm not feeling terribly confident in that area. There's an anthology I'd really love to write something for, but I'm having performance anxiety. I need to write something good, not just competent. Hell, who am I kidding, it's gotta be better than good to even have a chance. And the idea bin is a little dusty for short stories right now. Maybe it's just the work stuff blanking my brain...sigh. Need to go idea searching, I guess, find that spark that makes a story. One thing's for sure, I need to be writing something.

Have a good evening...

Now reading: Job Postings
Now playing: Weathered by Creed

10/4/05

Feeling a little lost on the writing front this week. I sat down last night, hoping to start work on a new short story. But I got no where fast. I ended up editing an old story instead. There are a couple of anthologies I want to sub to, but I just couldn't come up with anything coherent. Honestly, I miss the novel experience. :) I love the act of writing a novel, it's such a satisfying experience. But the longer I stared at the blank page, the more blank my imagination became. So I let it go. I think I need a little inspiration, something to click for a short story. One of those little ah ha moments that spark in my brain.

So, no real writing occurred last night.

Got yet another rejection from an agent on a query yesterday. My query letters must really suck. Couldn't even get them to look at even one chapter. I think I'm done with agents. I'm way too frustrated with this process to keep wasting postage on it. And I'm tired of having my entire body of work and potential as a novelist shot down on the basis of 3 lines of text. Besides, writing fiction is a much better use of my time. Maybe one of these days, it'll be my turn at the dance? Over the past thirteen years, I've seen a lot of people break in and I've wished desperately for that one break. That one major sale. It hasn't happened yet, but certainly not for my lack of trying. I've given a lot up for my writing — relationships, career opportunities — knowing it was a long haul. And at this point, I get tired a lot, discouraged a lot and I constantly wonder why I ever thought I could write in the first place. But every night I go back to it. A new story is a new hope and so the process goes.

But I'm not sure that I ever really thought, "Hey, I can write that much better!" My entrance into writing was a love of creating my own worlds, my own characters and situations. For me, it was more of a "Hey, I want to create worlds, too!" It was never an ego thing, it was always the hope of, "will someone else like this, too?" It was only later when I would hear people say how big an ego most writers must have that got me thinking. Maybe I'm just plain wrong, but I don't think all writers have huge egos. I think a ton of them are like me, wanting to share their worlds with other people. Feeling a need to communicate with others in ways we could never do verbally.

Most people when they meet me, they think I'm very quiet and I can be. I'm not a very trusting person, so it takes me time to extrovert myself with others. And even then, I can't always verbalize my thoughts or feelings. Then I feel frustrated by my inability to express myself. So, for me, writing was always a way for me to communicate when everything else failed. A way to connect to other people in the only way I ever could.

Yeah, I know. Writers are weird. :) Some of us spend too much time in our own heads. I'm totally guilty of that. And I'm writing this from work (shame!). :) And unfortunately, I've gotta get back to it. Bleh.

Now reading:
Now playing:

9/30/05

The Cinderella Hour: FINAL Word Count = 77,000 words!!!

11:40 pm -- 7500 words -- Holy shit...I wrote 7500 words tonight!! I'm sitting here stunned and grinning like an idiot!

Yeah, baby!! I did it!!! I finished the book!!! And I can't tell you much my hands are throbbing at this moment. I can barely type.

Final word count is 77,000 words. I freaked when I added my page headers and saw the 308. When I started this book, I never dreamed I'd hit 300 pages. But there it is. Twenty minutes before deadline.

I'm gonna feel really lost tomorrow night. But tonight, I'm pretty damned pleased with myself. :)

G'night...

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/29/05

4250 words -- Yeah, check that number out...I totally kicked butt today, writing a little over lunch and barnstorming through a flurry of words. I was amazed when I checked my word count. This was one of those nights when I just couldn't type fast enough.

Jack has given up and so has Talia. The Masked Ball happens tomorrow night and Talia believes she's lost her wings. But two hours before Jack goes out to declare his choice, the woman who setup Talia confesses what she's done to Jack. Sick that he's chosen another woman, and knowing that he's giving up a million dollars, Jack decides to throw himself on Talia's mercy and beg her forgiveness. But violence will errupt at the Ball, a woman bent on revenge, and Talia must save Jack's life -- at the cost of her human soul. A soul she'd rather give up her wings to keep so she can stay with Jack. She'll win the wager between Lucifer and Sariel, but she'll lose her heart in the bargain. But in her saving of the second soul -- her own -- she gets a second chance. A chance at humanity or the return of her wings.

Exhausted...crashing now...

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/28/05

3250 words -- Talia kept Jack alive and now struggles to find his match before her time runs out. She doesn't realize that she's his match and with the Masked Ball approaching, she tries to find a way to stop the horrible fate awaiting him if she fails.

But Jack, after almost making the biggest mistake of his life, learns the truth about Talia and realizes that his heart will never be the same if he lets her go. With a million dollar prize at stake, he decides to throw it away and beg Talia's forgiveness. Coming up tomorrow night. But Talia's darkest moment is nearly upon her . . . wow . . . I'm probably 7 or 8K from the end . . . Nothing like an eleventh hour finish.

Have a good evening.

Now reading: The Book of Angels by Sylvia Browne
Now playing: American Idiot by Green Day

9/27/05

3000 words -- I've set the final chain of events into motion. Jack's darkest moment has begun. Talia's fast approaching. Due to a deception, Jack has thrown it all away, thinking the worst of Talia. Now, she must do everything in her powe